I feel depress lately. When I found out the reason why, I think it’s kinda funny, because I’ve been waiting this time to come, I was so exited about the new change in my life. When I was still in Indonesia, I almost didn’t have time for myself, I was too busy at work and also school at the same time. I kept thinking about moving to US everyday, because I knew that’s when I could finally be able to relax and finally be able to do things that I’ve never got a chance to do, like writing lots of stories, listening to music, relaxing all day, wake up late everyday and of course to marry my husband. It seemed like it’s gonna be a great life, but I’ve never imagine that it wasn’t always fun, in fact things get harder lately. I just realize that staying home and relaxing it’s not my thing. By getting used doing things for suddenly doing nothing can be depressing. In fact, I spent most of my times having negative thought, and now I’ve never been so scared like this in my life. I’m scared that when I do have a job, I won’t be able to do it, especially that I only have one job experience ever. I know that the only thing I could do is working in the newspaper like I used to, but the thing is, I don’t have the english writing skills which is the number one thing that you need to have when u want to still work at the same field. It’s ironic, that back then when I was in Indonesia, I often hired by International writer to become their interpreter, because eventhough my english not perfect, but at least I’m better than some people, but in here, everyone speaks english better than me. I used to be so proud of myself because I was confident to be different. For example, when others like Leonardo Di Caprio, I choose to like Tom Hanks. Some people thought it’s weird, some people thought it’s cool. But in here, he’s American’s favorite actor. I guess I can’t accept the fact that in here, I have changed from different into normal. I felt like I am not myself anymore. Not original. Like a Superman, America is a krypton to me, where everyone is superman.