The first lady of California Maria Shriver admitted to Oprah that she was lost. She cried a lot and still crying today.

She thought that she lived the life that she wanted to be. She wanted to be journalist and she became one. She married to Arnold Schwarzenegger and thinks that she is in the right place, until her husband was elected to become the Governor of California. On the same day, she lost her job as journalist but she didn’t realize that she also lost her identity.

Is she selfish because she seemed in the place where many people wanted to be? Becoming the first lady of California, like Oprah said, is a dream of many women. Not to mention being marry to the “Terminator” Arnold Schwarzenegger. She seemed like she’s having everything but apparently not. She doesn’t have her true identity anymore.

She said on her book as quoted by Oprah, “If I am not the news woman on tv, then who am I now?” She said now people only identify her as the Governor’s wive, and she said that it’s not her real identity.

The point about the whole interview just so make sense to me now. I myself sometimes start to think that I will just do the best in everything that life brought. But why when I read the news of my co workers doing or writing things that I suppose to do, I envy them. I feel like the life is unfair. I forgot that they actually just playing some random roles too. None of them really studying journalist like me. They’re coming from completely different background with me, but life directs them to journalism world. While me, I was studying it for 8 years, dreaming about it for basically all my life, but only get a chance to do for 4 years and now I am living without it for almost three years. I can’t lie that I think that it’s so unfair.

Now I have a plan to trying to get my identity back. Will that be with Journalism or simply trying to find new things that I have the same passion with? It doesn’t matter as long I can rediscover myself again(*)