A Story of The Luckiest (or the most unlucky?) Roxette Fan
// January 13th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // na na na, personal, roxette, trip
Roxette and me.
I haven’t updated my site in a long time and also haven’t visited anyone’s blog/sites in a long time. This last few months has been very busy for me. It was also a very stressful time with me, although it ended VERY great.
It started with the most terrible times in my whole life but ended in most fantastic times that I myself has never dare to imagine. Now I am confident to say that 2009 maybe the best year of my life.
The are so many reason why it’s the best. This year, I finally achieve not ONLY one but MANY things that I’ve always dreamed or thought before, the dream that seemed impossible and still to this day, I can’t believe that it’s actually happen. The dream is ‘Meeting Roxette’.
I didn’t realize how much this event meant to me, because I thought I’m no longer a a “Roxette fanatic”, I STILL like them but I thought the effects like I used to feel when I was teenager probably has faded away with time. I was like a newborn Roxette fan again. Then I realize that I am actually still a Roxette fanatic, but past event (like terrible thing that happen to Marie) made me want to focus on something else, thing that ‘less selfish’ than to see them on a stage.
If you curious, I am gonna share my story which I actually wrote and got published at RoxetteBlog.Com
WARNING: It’s quite long 
BEING a Roxette fan was always a challenge for me. Everytime I always wanted to get something Roxette-related, I had to try extra harder (maybe harder than anyone else) to get what I wanted. Most of the time it would be so stressful, but for some reason it was always ended great and by the end of the day it became a good story to tell.
I remember on 1993, I was only 14 years old and still living in a very small town of Indonesia (now I’m living in US). At that time, my TV only had one channel, no cable at all.
I have a cousin who liked to buy a tabloid which included a TV guide/schedules for the whole week. I remember it was Tuesday night, and for fun I would pretend that my TV had all the chanells like in that TV guide, and I’d marked the shows that I pretend I was going to watch the next day.
Then I read about the show called “About Roxette”. I panicked and shocked because ever since I become a huge fan, never in my life I watched a whole hour show about them. Now some channel is gonna broadcast them but my TV didn’t even get that? What am I gonna do?
No one I knew had cable.
So, all night I prayed (I really did), that if I couldn’t watch the show, I hope that when I woke up tomorrow that the show will disappear magically from that tabloid (I know it sounded selfish).
I couldn’t really sleep of course, and around 5 am I woke up and checked the listing. It was still there, and now it was only few hours away.
To my surprise, I heard someone knocked on our door and my mom went to open it. I stayed in my room, but I could hear that it was my aunt. It was strange for her to visit my mom in that hour.
Then I overheard her saying the most magical word ever. She said: ”We just installed cable yesterday.”
I jumped off bed instantly and went outside to make sure I didn’t misheard. She was telling the truth, she had cable now and meaning I COULD see Roxette!
So, even though the show wouldn’t be on until 3 pm, I already sat in front of the TV at her house since 8 am. Hours later, I finally was able to see Marie and Per for the whole hour (well, 30 minutes actually, because there were commercial breaks) for the first time in my life.
No Indonesian subtitles, just English and at that time I only understood maybe 5 percent of what they were talking about, but I didn’t care. I just want to see them. Ah, those were the days…
That’s just the beginning…
Years later, I was still a Roxette fan and my dream was to see them live on stage. However, things changed when Marie got ill. All of a sudden, I put aside that dream and all I want was to see her healthy and happy agaon, even if it meant that I’d never see Roxette live ever again.
I actually manage to make myself not really thinking about them anymore. Thank god for my very busy job and school. For the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn’t Roxette number one fan anymore, I like to think that maybe now I was only Roxette number 37 or 38 fan.
Years ago, I wanted to be the first person who owned their latest album, but this time I even waited 3 years before I got Rox Box.
But then there she was ON STAGE again with Per in Amsterdam. Suddenly things changed again. Now I was probably Roxette number 10 fan. I felt like 15 again. I admit I cried when I saw them (through YouTube) on stage again and I remembered the dream I used to have of seeing them live again.
I realized that it never goes away, at that time I just wanted to be a good fan, especially for Marie. I stay away because I want the best for her, but now I think it’s no longer selfish to have a Roxette dream again.
Then I heard the news that they would be performing on Night of the Proms. I was trembling and feeling so nervous when I realized that I might be able to see them. I actually had enough money on my bank to see them.
I had been saving money for travelling to a place that I hadn’t decided and now I COULD use that money.
I decided to go to see them in the Netherlands. And since this was my first time travelling outside the US, and even though I am US permanent resident but still am an Indonesian citizen, I decided to call the Indonesian consulate and addressed my question to them.
I asked them if I needed a visa to go to Netherland, and they said no. That’s how I made my first mistake ever. I didn’t double check with the Dutch Consulate. I BELIEVED them right away. So, then I bought the round trip ticket to Amsterdam, bought one NOTP ticket for Rotterdam show, booked 4 nights room for a hostel, learnt how the train system works (printing the schedules, etc), even made a trip plan to see Roxette’s foot prints in Rotterdam.
I also bought a new suitcase, camera, winter clothes, some travelling kits and books to read at the airplane. I even announced that to everyone I knew in Facebook, Twitter, and whatever/whenever I could about this most exiting moment I am about to experience. I also took almost a week off work.
Then a week before my trip, I bought another NOTP ticket. I was so happy to know that I was going to be in TWO concerts. Life seemed GREAT.
Then on the 16th, I said goodbye to all my Facebook friends, hopefully to meet some of them at the concert. I went to the airport with happiness and joy. The only thing that worried me if I could straight my legs on the airplane.
However the day I arrived at the airport made turns me from the happiest gal at to the saddest and the most tragic person at San Diego Lindberg Airport.
They said I couldn’t go because I didn’t have the visa. I was so shocked. I thought everything was perfect, I thought in few days I’d finally be able to see Marie and Per. Never in my life I’d changed from the happiest person to the saddest THIS fast.
I felt sad before for not being able to see Roxette when they toured Indonesia (1995), but at that time I knew from the very beginning I wouldn’t be able to see them, so I was sad, but was more prepared. This was different, I was SO fuckin’ sure I was gonna see them.
I learned that to get the visa I’d need at least three weeks, meaning even when I get it, it was already too late. My dream was crashed.
I went home crying. I decided I wanted to take a break from anything, especially from Roxette. It was too painful. I took off the calendar because I didn’t want to see the dates to remind me that I was supposed to be in Rotterdam.
I asked my husband to message my Rox friends about what happened, because I thought it would be strange to just disappear like that.
He also contacted the airplane ticket and they said the ticket wasn’t refundable, but I could still use the credit for my next flight. However, they would still take $ 300 as penalty.
The hostel charge me one night out of four (that was fair). The NOTP ticket wasn’t refundable unfortunately. I wanted to give it away to other fans, but too little time.
However, it turns out I couldn’t really take a break. I kept wondering if I could make it to Germany instead? Should I try by using the credit of my airplane ticket? I was too scared to fail and even losing more money.
Then, with the last energy I had, I decided to try to get a visa to Germany. There were lots of requirements, and again almost made me give up, but some part of me kept me wondering how if I’d succeed. I was worried that in the future I’d always be wondering what would happen if I had never even tried.
So, yes, I decided to give it another try. Again, I bought (using the credit and paid even more money) another roundtrip airplane ticket from USA to Germany.
Just in case, I bought a ticket for the last show in Dortmund. The ticket was more expensive than the one I had before and it wasn’t in front of the stage, like my seat in Rotterdam, but I didn’t care. This time I planned everything quietly. Maybe because I was just too afraid that it might fail again.
Then, we went to the German Consulate in Los Angeles. At that time it was only two weeks before the concert, and the woman at the consulate reminded me that it might took three weeks for me to get the visa. At that time, I just didn’t care. “Whatever,” I thought.
Later, they still said that my letter of reference from work didn’t look legitimate enough and I needed a new one. My itinerary wasn’t what they wanted either.
Usually, they want people to bring those documents in person, but this time they said I could just mail them in. Thank goodness. We already spent lots of money for gas from San Diego to LA back and forward.
… And the waiting game began. Couldn’t really sleep and eat. Gosh, waiting was REALLY a very hard thing to do!
Then three days before the 16th, I got a call from the consulate and they said that my visa was ready! I WAS so relieved and happy! We drove to Los Angeles again to get it. I still decided not to let anyone know about it at least until the concert was over.
Just to be sure, a day before my trip, we went to the airport and showed the document I had, and they said that was all I needed. “Just don’t be late,” the Airport people told me.
The 16th arrived and finally I was on a plane to Dusseldorf, Germany. I just couldn’t believe that my dream was about to become true! I arrived on the 17th and went to my hotel right away.
The next day, the 18th, I woke up and I realized that in a few hours Roxette was going to sing in Cologne but I only had one ticket to Dortmund. I knew that the show for that day probably was sold out, but what about the one for tomorrow? Should I go? Then I talked with my husband on the phone, I asked him to check my account and he said that I still had a little money.
So, I decided to take a train to Cologne right away and arrived around 1 pm. I asked if they still had a ticket for tomorrow’s show, then they checked their computer and told me that they did! I was so happy, but then I decided to ask IF they still had ticket for TONIGHT show, and they said yes.
I bought the ticket right away. They asked me if I wanted to buy another one for the next day, but I said I’ll think about it.
The problem now, that the show wouldn’t start until 8 pm, and here I was already at the location seven hours earlier. I didn’t have any friends in Cologne so I didn’t know where to go.
First I went to Greek restaurant and ate, I even talked with a waiter who was shocked when he learned the reason why I was there. However, I felt uncomfortable to sit down there hours and hours, so I decided to leave and wandered in a cold weather until the show started.
It was pretty hard, especially for someone who came from Indonesia (tropical country), then living in southern California to suddenly walking around during freezing winter time in Germany.
Finally it was almost the show time. I was so excited and touched at the same time. I couldn’t believe I’d see Roxette for the first time in my life.
Then I heard the most familiar familiar music followed by the familiar faces. I felt so amazed, I decided to stop taking pictures, I just wanted to pay attention to Marie and Per while they performed “Wish I Could Fly”. I felt like I was dreaming, like it didn’t actually happen.
When the song was over, and they both disappeared, that was when I actually realized that I JUST saw Roxette. I felt like I was about to cry, but then I thought if I cried right now, people would think that I was a fan of whomever in the stage right now. So, I forced myself not to.
Then, of course later, I was amazed again by how great Marie’s performance was, especially during “Listen To Your Heart”. Honestly, when I went to see them, I didn’t have any expectation at all. I felt like my job was to support them no matter what. They have blessed me with great music all these years, it was my turn to thank them by just showing up. So, I was totally blown away when Marie proved that she still had one of the most beautiful voices I’ve heard in my life. That woman was just so amazing and powerful. That was probably my absolute favorite performance of hers.
When I went back to my hotel that night, I kept thinking on how great the show was. So, I decided to try to get another ticket for tomorrow’s show. I went there again very early so I could still get the ticket, which I did. Once again, I had to walk around for hours waiting for the show to begin.
This time was even harder because there was heavy snow all over the place. I kept thinking how on earth I was gonna survive on this weather, I felt numb all over, my hands and face were frozen, but then it help me to not feeling as cold.
Maybe two hours before the show, I cought some familiar faces in the crowd waiting for the door to be opened. However, I was still not sure. So, I just followed them and waited until someone mentioned “Roxette”, then maybe I’d say hi. Then I saw Kirsten (A Roxette friend that I only know from internet), but again I was still not sure and I kept standing near them. No one said Roxette or Kirsten, so then I decided to say hi anyway. I mean, what worst thing could happen?
It turned out it was really her, and she was quite surprised that I actually MADE it to the concert. Then, something more amazing than I could imagine actually happened. She asked me if I wanted to join them to meet and greet Roxette. I, of course, said yes right away.
However, I learned to stay calm and prepared myself for not being disappointed if it doesn’t happen.
Hours later, at the backstage, the dream that I had for a long time started to come true right before my eyes when I saw Per and Marie entered the room.
It was so strange to see faces that I had ever only seen on TV or magazines actually appeared, for real. This time I kept taking lots and lots of pictures.
Then it was my turn to have my picture taken with Per. I had never met him before so I didn’t know what to do. I actually decided to avoid physical contact, so I just stood near him without even shake his hand. Then, he suddenly put his arm around my shoulder. I thought, hey, maybe it was okay to lay my head on his shoulder, then I got my picture taken (of course later I saw in our picture that Per didn’t smiling, I hope it wasn’t because of what I did).
Overall, Per was very warm and nice. He liked to talk to the fans all at once, which was great. Then, it was my turn to meet Marie. I was SO shocked when she grab my hand then kept holding it maybe for few minutes.
She was smiling and looking me right in the eyes, like she wanted to give all her attention to me. I never expected that. So, then I told her I’ve been a fan for 19 years since I was living in Indonesia and this is the first time I saw her in person. She was quite shocked, but she kept looking right into my eyes, then said, “hope this is okay with you.”
She still had her eyes on me while holding my hand so tight, seemed like she waited for me to say something. My 15 years old heart wanted to scream hysterically in front of her face, but my 30 year old brain told me to stay calm. At the end, the only words that I manage to say was “You’re so pretty.”
I knew it doesn’t sound smart at all and I wish I said something more meaningful. And guess what, she still looked at me right in the eyes. Maybe, I am crazy but it seemed like she could read inside my soul. That was too hard for me to handle so I turned away To this day, I kept thinking about that look. It’s still a mystery to me, but let me try to explain: In her eyes, there were kindness, child alike, innocent, mysterious, sweet, and curiosity or was it? Is that possible that some things that I felt like I saw on her was the reflection on my own feelings towards her? Like I actually witness my childhood past? There is something special with that woman. It turns out I wasn’t the only one who feel that, so I wasn’t crazy then.
At that time the whole meeting was still like a dream to me. I started to realize that it really did happen when I went back to my sit at the concert. Then that was when I started to become emotional and I felt like I really need to cry this time, in happiness, but Katona Twins were on a stage right now, and even though I enjoyed them alot, again I didn’t want people to think that I cried for them.
The third concert in Dortmund however was mixed emotions to me. I was sad because this was the last one but happy at the same time to see them on a stage. After the concert, I went back to my hotel very tired and only got few hours to sleep before leaving for USA. I kept thinking about my meeting with Roxette and couldn’t wait to share my experience with everyone.
Of course, nothing ever went easy for me. I actually overslept and missed my plane, and I wasn’t leave until two days later, but that’s another story.
For more of the pictures I took with Roxette, click here
