Wah-wah! Here comes the sun.

You know it’s a dream but you couldn’t get up

// February 27th, 2010 // No Comments » // nightmares, personal // nightmares, personal

Once I was laying in my bed, I saw a middle aged Chinese woman and his son sitting on my bed. They were watching me asleep.

They didn’t say anything. They looked like they’re human, but the way they looked at me made me realize that there was something not right with them. Their eyes looked dead.

… and what the hell they’re doing in my bedroom?

Even though they didn’t do anything at all, they still scared the hell out of me. I tried to get up, but I couldn’t.

After a minute of torture, I finally got up and realized that it was only a dream. Only that’s the most ‘real’ dream I’ve ever had.

I don’t remember how long after that, but they were back again in my dream. Like before, I couldn’t get up and couldn’t move. For some reason, even though they were sitting still on my bed, I could swear that they were getting closer and closer to me.

Again, it was a struggle to get up, I sometimes made it and usually I was too afraid to fall asleep again. Because the minute I fell asleep, they would be back again.

I didn’t believe in Ghost and such and I know it’s only a dream, but why it kept coming back? And why that woman and her son? Who were they?

This thing happened around 2003. At that time I lived in Jakarta, working as journalist and it’s probably the busiest and the most stressful time in my life ever.

The nightmare continues. Soon, I started to see appearance by people that I knew in real life.

While I was in Jakarta, I had a roommate. Every few days, there was a woman came by to pick up our laundry. Usually she came while we’re still asleep.

And that day, I heard her coming while I was still lying in my bed. Then I felt some “strange” air flowing inside my brain and now my body was “paralyzed” again (Once, you experienced that kind of nightmare in a while, you start to recognize the symptom when it was about to come).

So, I said to myself: “Oh no, what’s scary stuff that I am going to experience this time?”

My eyes were opened (at least that’s seemed like it). I felt her entering the room only that I didn’t see her at all. Then, I saw her right hand waving and touching the wall in a scary way (which I didn’t know how to explain). There was nothing I could do, but to wait until I get my power back to get up from this nightmare

At that time, the dream only set in that same room. Until not longer after that, I had a dream where I ‘woke up’, though still lying in bed. I saw the room around me has changed. It looked like the room in my grandparent’s house.

Then, I saw my cousin at least it looked like her but it wasn’t her because she had that empty, dead, evil look in her eyes, like that Chinese woman and her son.

There were times, my roommate was there with me, sleeping at the same room with me. I felt like there was a long haired ghost (like in The Ring), holding me so tight and made me couldn’t move. I tried to reach at my roommate so I could wake her up, but the ghost were stronger than I did.

I knew that my “experience” is getting scarier and scarier.

I finally told some people about it. They reaction is the room we stayed must be haunted or whatever. I don’t want to believe that, but the other explanation that I MUST be getting crazy then. I like the “haunted” explanation better. Of course, it becomes sort of like jokes then. I was laughing too. Although at the end, I still terrified every time it occurred.

Basically, the experiences were always similar where I couldn’t get up or move. There were times it was too scary that I managed to crawl on the floor, trying to go to the bathroom so I could pour a cold water into my face.

There were times I actually set my alarm to go off every few min, so I could get up when it rings and the “ghost” or whatever would go away.

My last effort was to change the direction of the bed. I heard the myth said you shouldn’t sleep facing the door because then you’ll have nightmare (don’t ask me why, I don’t have the answer). At that time, my common sense doesn’t really help me and I just want to have a peaceful night, so I did change the direction. I forgot if that really worked.

When I moved to US. It started to happen again. Sometimes I woke up and saw my neighbor sitting on my bed and again looking at me with “empty” eyes. There were times I heard my husband footsteps, but he never made it to the door. That’s how I knew that it’s the “nightmare” again.

Onetime, I found the article on something called “Sleep paralysis”. I was shocked to find out and relieved at the same time that I finally found the answer of what has been happening to me in the last few years.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

This is the various factors that might increase it:

Sleeping in a face upwards or supine position
Irregular sleeping schedules; naps, sleeping in, sleep deprivation
Increased stress
Sudden environmental/lifestyle changes
A lucid dream that immediately precedes the episode.

All the factors seemed to describe my situation really well. The first thing I changed was my sleeping position habit. I remember not to sleep on my back anymore, always facing side, left or right. It seemed worked and I hardly have that experience anymore.

More interesting link (and story) about “Sleep Paralysis”

http://www.lucid.me/sleepparalysis.htm

http://www.yourghoststories.com/real-ghost-story.php?story=8590

http://www.theastralworld.com/dreams/sleep-paralysis.php

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1740?page=4&destination=

My Oscar Prediction 2010

// February 14th, 2010 // No Comments » // movie talk // movie talk

Rotten Tomatoes

Performance by an actor in a leading role

Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart” (Fox Searchlight)
George Clooney in “Up in the Air” (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Colin Firth in “A Single Man” (The Weinstein Company)
Morgan Freeman in “Invictus” (Warner Bros.)
Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment)

The Oscar goes to: Jeff Bridges.
He had won several awards including Golden Globe.

My personal choice would be: Jeremy Renner
Among all the nominees for this category, I only saw The Hurt Locker and he impressed me so much.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Matt Damon in “Invictus” (Warner Bros.)
Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger” (Oscilloscope Laboratories)
Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones” (DreamWorks in association with Film4, Distributed by Paramount)
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company)

The Oscar goes to: Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”
This is quite hard because I HAVEN’T seen any of this movies, but I kept hearing how great Waltz performance was.

My personal choice would be: None.

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side” (Warner Bros.)
Helen Mirren in “The Last Station” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Carey Mulligan in “An Education” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Lionsgate)
Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia” (Sony Pictures Releasing)

The Oscar goes to: Meryl Streep
I swear it’s about time this woman got her third Oscar. She should got it last year for her performance in Doubt.

My personal choice would be: Meryl Streep.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Penélope Cruz in “Nine” (The Weinstein Company)
Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air” (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart” (Fox Searchlight)
Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air” (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Lionsgate)

The Oscar goes to: Mo’Nique
She also already wins so many award for her performance already.

My personal choice would be: I like Vera Farmiga the most as an actress, but unfortunately I haven’t seen Up In The Air. I am glad that she’s nominated though. Ever since I saw her in Never Forever, I knew she was on her way to Oscar.

Best animated feature film of the year
“Coraline” (Focus Features) Henry Selick
“Fantastic Mr. Fox” (20th Century Fox) Wes Anderson
“The Princess and the Frog” (Walt Disney) John Musker and Ron Clements
“The Secret of Kells” (GKIDS) Tomm Moore
“Up” (Walt Disney) Pete Docter

The Oscar goes to: Up
The EASIEST one to predict. I mean this movie also GOT nominated for BEST PICTURE while the others don’t. Not too mention it also got nominated for Original Score, Sound Editing and Original screenplay!

My personal choice would be: Up
The best movie of 2009, in my opinion.

Achievement in art direction

“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) Art Direction: Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg
Set Decoration: Kim Sinclair
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” (Sony Pictures Classics) Art Direction: Dave Warren and Anastasia Masaro
Set Decoration: Caroline Smith
“Nine” (The Weinstein Company) Art Direction: John Myhre
Set Decoration: Gordon Sim
“Sherlock Holmes” (Warner Bros.) Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood
Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
“The Young Victoria” (Apparition) Art Direction: Patrice Vermette
Set Decoration: Maggie Gray

The Oscar goes to: Avatar
I think Avatar will easily wins all the “technical stuff” category.

My personal choice would be: Avatar
Because that’s the only one I saw, but I am sure many agree that Avatar really invented the “new” style in movie making that probably
gonna be inspiration of many movies in the future.

Achievement in cinematography
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) Mauro Fiore
“Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” (Warner Bros.) Bruno Delbonnel
“The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment) Barry Ackroyd
“Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company) Robert Richardson
“The White Ribbon” (Sony Pictures Classics) Christian Berger

The Oscar goes to: The Hurt Locker
I am surprised how visually GREAT The Hurt Locker was. Before I watched it I thought it would be hard for them to compete
Avatar in this technical category, but I am willing to gamble here. I think the jury might pick this one instead of Avatar.

My personal choice would be: The Hurt Locker.
Same reason as above.

Achievement in costume design:
“Bright Star” (Apparition) Janet Patterson
“Coco before Chanel” (Sony Pictures Classics) Catherine Leterrier
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” (Sony Pictures Classics) Monique Prudhomme
“Nine” (The Weinstein Company) Colleen Atwood
“The Young Victoria” (Apparition) Sandy Powell

The Oscar goes to: Nine
It looked pretty good based on a trailer only (I know!)

My personal choice: None

Achievement in directing
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) James Cameron
“The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment) Kathryn Bigelow
“Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company) Quentin Tarantino
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Lionsgate) Lee Daniels
“Up in the Air” (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios) Jason Reitman

The Oscar goes to: Kathryn Bigelow

I can’t deny that James Cameron did a great job in Avatar. It seemed like it’s probably one of the hardest movie to make and direct. But after viewing The Hurt Locker, I have to admit I LOVE Bigelow style of directing. Some people probably found that her “shaky”
camera movement could cause nausea, but I think the purpose was to make people experience the stressful situation the characters in
the movie were faced. The exposion scene was done very artistic and I like how she “created” it.

My personal choice would be: Kathryn Bigelow
It must be hard to compete with almost ‘perfect’ movie like Avatar but I swear she put herself in a same league with Cameron even
with “less budget” movie.

Best documentary feature
“Burma VJ” (Oscilloscope Laboratories)
A Magic Hour Films Production Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller
“The Cove” (Roadside Attractions)
An Oceanic Preservation Society Production Nominees to be determined
“Food, Inc.” (Magnolia Pictures)
A Robert Kenner Films Production Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein
“The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers”
A Kovno Communications Production Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith
“Which Way Home”
A Mr. Mudd Production

The Oscar goes to: “Food, Inc.” (Magnolia Pictures)
Honestly I only ever heard this one and The Cove, so I guess between those two.

My personal choice: None.

Achievement in film editing
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
“District 9″ (Sony Pictures Releasing) Julian Clarke
“The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment) Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
“Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company) Sally Menke
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Lionsgate) Joe Klotz

The Oscar goes to: Avatar
Although, I wouldn’t surprise if The Hurt Locker wins. I swear this movie were great in every aspect.

My personal choice: The Hurt Locker
You could tell that I REALLY like this movie.

Best foreign language film of the year
“Ajami”(Kino International)
An Inosan Production Israel
“El Secreto de Sus Ojos” (Sony Pictures Classics)
A Haddock Films Production Argentina
“The Milk of Sorrow”
A Wanda Visión/Oberon Cinematogràfica/Vela Production Peru
“Un Prophète” (Sony Pictures Classics)
A Why Not/Page 114/Chic Films Production France
“The White Ribbon” (Sony Pictures Classics)
An X Filme Creative Pool/Wega Film/Les Films du Losange/Lucky Red Production Germany

The Oscar goes to: “The White Ribbon”
Another wild guess. I know nothing about movies above.

My personal choice: None.

Achievement in makeup
“Il Divo” (MPI Media Group through Music Box) Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano
“Star Trek” (Paramount and Spyglass Entertainment) Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow
“The Young Victoria” (Apparition) Jon Henry Gordon and Jenny Shircore

The Oscar goes to: “Star Trek”
This movie is one of the best reviewed this year, so I assumed it will wins something at least.

My personal choice: None.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) James Horner
“Fantastic Mr. Fox” (20th Century Fox) Alexandre Desplat
“The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment) Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
“Sherlock Holmes” (Warner Bros.) Hans Zimmer
“Up” (Walt Disney) Michael Giacchino

The Oscar goes to: Up
I REALLY hope that this one will win. Ever since I saw the movie, the score really impressed me as much as the story itself. I was hoped it get nominated and now it did I HOPE it will wins as well.

My personal choice: Up
Same as above.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog” (Walt Disney) Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog” (Walt Disney) Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36″ (Sony Pictures Classics) Music by Reinhardt Wagner
Lyric by Frank Thomas
“Take It All” from “Nine” (The Weinstein Company) Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T
Bone Burnett

The Oscar goes to: “The Weary Kind”
Well, it’s already won the Golden Globe, so I got influenced by it.

My personal choice: None

Best motion picture of the year
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox)
A Lightstorm Entertainment Production James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers
“The Blind Side” (Warner Bros.)
An Alcon Entertainment Production Nominees to be determined
“District 9″ (Sony Pictures Releasing)
A Block/Hanson Production Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, Producers
“An Education” (Sony Pictures Classics)
A Finola Dwyer/Wildgaze Films Production Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, Producers
“The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment)
A Voltage Pictures Production Nominees to be determined
“Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company)
A Weinstein Company/Universal Pictures/A Band Apart/Zehnte Babelsberg Production Lawrence Bender, Producer
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Lionsgate)
A Lee Daniels Entertainment/Smokewood Entertainment Production Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness,

Producers
“A Serious Man” (Focus Features)
A Working Title Films Production Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Producers
“Up” (Walt Disney)
A Pixar Production Jonas Rivera, Producer
“Up in the Air” (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
A Montecito Picture Company Production Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, Producers

The Oscar goes to: The Hurt Locker
It has what it takes in everything. I know Avatar seemed like “the best of all” with “all the amazing thing you’ve never seen before”, but let say it still have the same story but without such a “high tech” effects, then it’s just gonna be a “good” movie, NOT great.

My personal choice: Up
Even though I like The Hurt Locker so much but in my personal opinion, Up is the best movie of the year.

Achievement in sound editing
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) Christopher Boyes and Gwendolyn Yates Whittle
“The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment) Paul N.J. Ottosson
“Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company) Wylie Stateman
“Star Trek” (Paramount and Spyglass Entertainment) Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin
“Up” (Walt Disney) Michael Silvers and Tom Myers

The Oscar goes to: The Hurt Locker
… or Avatar.

My personal choice: The Hurt Locker

Achievement in sound mixing
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson and Tony Johnson
“The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment) Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett
“Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company) Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti and Mark Ulano
“Star Trek” (Paramount and Spyglass Entertainment) Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson and Peter J. Devlin
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro, Distributed by Paramount) Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson

The Oscar goes to: The Hurt Locker
… or Avatar.

My personal choice: The Hurt Locker

Achievement in visual effects
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones
“District 9″ (Sony Pictures Releasing) Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken
“Star Trek” (Paramount and Spyglass Entertainment) Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton

The Oscar goes to: Avatar
In this one Avatar should and MUST win.

My personal choice: Avatar

Adapted screenplay
“District 9″ (Sony Pictures Releasing) Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
“An Education” (Sony Pictures Classics) Screenplay by Nick Hornby
“In the Loop” (IFC Films) Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Lionsgate) Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
“Up in the Air” (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios) Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

The Oscar goes to: Up in the Air
Just have a pretty good feeling about it

My personal choice: None

Original screenplay
“The Hurt Locker” (Summit Entertainment) Written by Mark Boal
“Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company) Written by Quentin Tarantino
“The Messenger” (Oscilloscope Laboratories) Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
“A Serious Man” (Focus Features) Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“Up” (Walt Disney) Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter
Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

The Oscar goes to: Up
It’s probably The Hurt Locker will win, but I am gonna go with Up anyway.

My personal choice: Up
Same as above

A Story of The Luckiest (or the most unlucky?) Roxette Fan

// January 13th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // na na na, personal, roxette, trip // na na na, personal, roxette, trip

Roxette and me.

I haven’t updated my site in a long time and also haven’t visited anyone’s blog/sites in a long time. This last few months has been very but also a very stressful time for me, although it ended VERY great.

It started with the most terrible times in my whole life but ended in most fantastic times that I myself have never dare to imagine. Now I am confident to say that 2009 maybe the best year of my life.

The are so many reason why it’s the best. This year, I finally achieve not ONLY one but MANY things that I’ve always dreamed or thought before, the dream that seemed impossible and still to this day, I can’t believe that it’s actually happen. The dream is ‘Meeting Roxette’.

I didn’t realize how much this event meant to me, because I thought I’m no longer a a “Roxette fanatic”, I STILL like them but I thought the effects like I used to feel when I was teenager probably has faded away with time. I was like a newborn Roxette fan again. Then I realize that I am actually still a Roxette fanatic, but past event (like terrible thing that happen to Marie) made me want to focus on something else, thing that ‘less selfish’ than to see them on a stage.

If you curious, I am gonna share my story which I actually wrote and got published at RoxetteBlog.Com

WARNING: It’s quite long

BEING a Roxette fan was always a challenge for me. Everytime I wanted to get something Roxette-related, I had to try extra harder (maybe harder than anyone else). Most of the time it would be so stressful, but for some reason it was always ended great and by the end of the day it became a good story to tell.

I remember on 1993, I was only 14 years old and still living in a very small town of Indonesia (now I’m living in US). At that time, my TV only had one channel, no cable at all.

I have a cousin who liked to buy a tabloid which included a TV guide/schedules for the whole week. I remember it was Tuesday night, and for fun I would pretend that my TV had all the chanells like in that TV guide, and I’d marked the shows that I pretend I was going to watch the next day.

Then I read about the show called “About Roxette”. I panicked and shocked because ever since I become a huge fan, never in my life I watched a whole hour show about them. Now some channel is gonna broadcast them but my TV didn’t even get that? What am I gonna do?
No one I knew had cable.

So, all night I prayed (I really did), that if I couldn’t watch the show, I hope that when I woke up tomorrow that the show will disappear magically from that tabloid (I know it sounded selfish).

I couldn’t really sleep of course, and around 5 am I woke up and checked the listing. It was still there, and now it was only few hours away.

To my surprise, I heard someone knocked on our door and my mom went to open it. I stayed in my room, but I could hear that it was my aunt. It was strange for her to visit my mom in that hour.

Then I overheard her saying the most magical word ever. She said: ”We just installed cable yesterday.”

I jumped off bed instantly and went outside to make sure I didn’t misheard. She was telling the truth, she had cable now and meaning I COULD see Roxette!

So, even though the show wouldn’t be on until 3 pm, I already sat in front of the TV at her house since 8 am. Hours later, I finally was able to see Marie and Per for the whole hour (well, 30 minutes actually, because there were commercial breaks) for the first time in my life.

No Indonesian subtitles, just English and at that time I only understood maybe 5 percent of what they were talking about, but I didn’t care. I just want to see them. Ah, those were the days…

That’s just the beginning…

Years later, I was still a Roxette fan and my dream was to see them live on stage. However, things changed when Marie got ill. All of a sudden, I put aside that dream and all I want was to see her healthy and happy agaon, even if it meant that I’d never see Roxette live ever again.

I actually manage to make myself not really thinking about them anymore. Thank god for my very busy job and school. For the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn’t Roxette number one fan anymore, I like to think that maybe now I was only Roxette number 37 or 38 fan.

Years ago, I wanted to be the first person who owned their latest album, but this time I even waited 3 years before I got Rox Box.

But then there she was ON STAGE again with Per in Amsterdam. Suddenly things changed again. Now I was probably Roxette number 10 fan. I felt like 15 again. I admit I cried when I saw them (through YouTube) on stage again and I remembered the dream I used to have of seeing them live again.

I realized that it never goes away, at that time I just wanted to be a good fan, especially for Marie. I stay away because I want the best for her, but now I think it’s no longer selfish to have a Roxette dream again.

Then I heard the news that they would be performing on Night of the Proms. I was trembling and feeling so nervous when I realized that I might be able to see them. I actually had enough money on my bank to see them.

I had been saving money for travelling to a place that I hadn’t decided and now I COULD use that money.

I decided to go to see them in the Netherlands. And since this was my first time travelling outside the US, and even though I am US permanent resident but still am an Indonesian citizen, I decided to call the Indonesian consulate and addressed my question to them.

I asked them if I needed a visa to go to Netherland, and they said no. That’s how I made my first mistake ever. I didn’t double check with the Dutch Consulate. I BELIEVED them right away. So, then I bought the round trip ticket to Amsterdam, bought one NOTP ticket for Rotterdam show, booked 4 nights room for a hostel, learnt how the train system works (printing the schedules, etc), even made a trip plan to see Roxette’s foot prints in Rotterdam.

I also bought a new suitcase, camera, winter clothes, some travelling kits and books to read at the airplane. I even announced that to everyone I knew in Facebook, Twitter, and whatever/whenever I could about this most exiting moment I am about to experience. I also took almost a week off work.

Then a week before my trip, I bought another NOTP ticket. I was so happy to know that I was going to be in TWO concerts. Life seemed GREAT.

Then on the 16th, I said goodbye to all my Facebook friends, hopefully to meet some of them at the concert. I went to the airport with happiness and joy. The only thing that worried me if I could straight my legs on the airplane.

However the day I arrived at the airport made turns me from the happiest gal at to the saddest and the most tragic person at San Diego Lindberg Airport.

They said I couldn’t go because I didn’t have the visa. I was so shocked. I thought everything was perfect, I thought in few days I’d finally be able to see Marie and Per. Never in my life I’d changed from the happiest person to the saddest THIS fast.

I felt sad before for not being able to see Roxette when they toured Indonesia (1995), but at that time I knew from the very beginning I wouldn’t be able to see them, so I was sad, but was more prepared. This was different, I was SO fuckin’ sure I was gonna see them.

I learned that to get the visa I’d need at least three weeks, meaning even when I get it, it was already too late. My dream was crashed.

I went home crying. I decided I wanted to take a break from anything, especially from Roxette. It was too painful. I took off the calendar because I didn’t want to see the dates to remind me that I was supposed to be in Rotterdam.

I asked my husband to message my Rox friends about what happened, because I thought it would be strange to just disappear like that.
He also contacted the airplane ticket and they said the ticket wasn’t refundable, but I could still use the credit for my next flight. However, they would still take $ 300 as penalty.

The hostel charge me one night out of four (that was fair). The NOTP ticket wasn’t refundable unfortunately. I wanted to give it away to other fans, but too little time.

However, it turns out I couldn’t really take a break. I kept wondering if I could make it to Germany instead? Should I try by using the credit of my airplane ticket? I was too scared to fail and even losing more money.

Then, with the last energy I had, I decided to try to get a visa to Germany. There were lots of requirements, and again almost made me give up, but some part of me kept me wondering how if I’d succeed. I was worried that in the future I’d always be wondering what would happen if I had never even tried.

So, yes, I decided to give it another try. Again, I bought (using the credit and paid even more money) another roundtrip airplane ticket from USA to Germany.

Just in case, I bought a ticket for the last show in Dortmund. The ticket was more expensive than the one I had before and it wasn’t in front of the stage, like my seat in Rotterdam, but I didn’t care. This time I planned everything quietly. Maybe because I was just too afraid that it might fail again.

Then, we went to the German Consulate in Los Angeles. At that time it was only two weeks before the concert, and the woman at the consulate reminded me that it might took three weeks for me to get the visa. At that time, I just didn’t care. “Whatever,” I thought.

Later, they still said that my letter of reference from work didn’t look legitimate enough and I needed a new one. My itinerary wasn’t what they wanted either.

Usually, they want people to bring those documents in person, but this time they said I could just mail them in. Thank goodness. We already spent lots of money for gas from San Diego to LA back and forward.

… And the waiting game began. Couldn’t really sleep and eat. Gosh, waiting was REALLY a very hard thing to do!

Then three days before the 16th, I got a call from the consulate and they said that my visa was ready! I WAS so relieved and happy! We drove to Los Angeles again to get it. I still decided not to let anyone know about it at least until the concert was over.

Just to be sure, a day before my trip, we went to the airport and showed the document I had, and they said that was all I needed. “Just don’t be late,” the Airport people told me.

The 16th arrived and finally I was on a plane to Dusseldorf, Germany. I just couldn’t believe that my dream was about to become true! I arrived on the 17th and went to my hotel right away.

The next day, the 18th, I woke up and I realized that in a few hours Roxette was going to sing in Cologne but I only had one ticket to Dortmund. I knew that the show for that day probably was sold out, but what about the one for tomorrow? Should I go? Then I talked with my husband on the phone, I asked him to check my account and he said that I still had a little money.

So, I decided to take a train to Cologne right away and arrived around 1 pm. I asked if they still had a ticket for tomorrow’s show, then they checked their computer and told me that they did! I was so happy, but then I decided to ask IF they still had ticket for TONIGHT show, and they said yes.

I bought the ticket right away. They asked me if I wanted to buy another one for the next day, but I said I’ll think about it.

The problem now, that the show wouldn’t start until 8 pm, and here I was already at the location seven hours earlier. I didn’t have any friends in Cologne so I didn’t know where to go.

First I went to Greek restaurant and ate, I even talked with a waiter who was shocked when he learned the reason why I was there. However, I felt uncomfortable to sit down there hours and hours, so I decided to leave and wandered in a cold weather until the show started.

It was pretty hard, especially for someone who came from Indonesia (tropical country), then living in southern California to suddenly walking around during freezing winter time in Germany.

Finally it was almost the show time. I was so excited and touched at the same time. I couldn’t believe I’d see Roxette for the first time in my life.

Then I heard the most familiar familiar music followed by the familiar faces. I felt so amazed, I decided to stop taking pictures, I just wanted to pay attention to Marie and Per while they performed “Wish I Could Fly”. I felt like I was dreaming, like it didn’t actually happen.

When the song was over, and they both disappeared, that was when I actually realized that I JUST saw Roxette. I felt like I was about to cry, but then I thought if I cried right now, people would think that I was a fan of whomever in the stage right now. So, I forced myself not to.

Then, of course later, I was amazed again by how great Marie’s performance was, especially during “Listen To Your Heart”. Honestly, when I went to see them, I didn’t have any expectation at all. I felt like my job was to support them no matter what. They have blessed me with great music all these years, it was my turn to thank them by just showing up. So, I was totally blown away when Marie proved that she still had one of the most beautiful voices I’ve heard in my life. That woman was just so amazing and powerful. That was probably my absolute favorite performance of hers.

When I went back to my hotel that night, I kept thinking on how great the show was. So, I decided to try to get another ticket for tomorrow’s show. I went there again very early so I could still get the ticket, which I did. Once again, I had to walk around for hours waiting for the show to begin.

This time was even harder because there was heavy snow all over the place. I kept thinking how on earth I was gonna survive on this weather, I felt numb all over, my hands and face were frozen, but then it help me to not feeling as cold.

Maybe two hours before the show, I cought some familiar faces in the crowd waiting for the door to be opened. However, I was still not sure. So, I just followed them and waited until someone mentioned “Roxette”, then maybe I’d say hi. Then I saw Kirsten (A Roxette friend that I only know from internet), but again I was still not sure and I kept standing near them. No one said Roxette or Kirsten, so then I decided to say hi anyway. I mean, what worst thing could happen?

It turned out it was really her, and she was quite surprised that I actually MADE it to the concert. Then, something more amazing than I could imagine actually happened. She asked me if I wanted to join them to meet and greet Roxette. I, of course, said yes right away.

However, I learned to stay calm and prepared myself for not being disappointed if it doesn’t happen.

Hours later, at the backstage, the dream that I had for a long time started to come true right before my eyes when I saw Per and Marie entered the room.

It was so strange to see faces that I had ever only seen on TV or magazines actually appeared, for real. This time I kept taking lots and lots of pictures.

Then it was my turn to have my picture taken with Per. I had never met him before so I didn’t know what to do. I actually decided to avoid physical contact, so I just stood near him without even shake his hand. Then, he suddenly put his arm around my shoulder. I thought, hey, maybe it was okay to lay my head on his shoulder, then I got my picture taken (of course later I saw in our picture that Per didn’t smiling, I hope it wasn’t because of what I did).

Overall, Per was very warm and nice. He liked to talk to the fans all at once, which was great. Then, it was my turn to meet Marie. I was SO shocked when she grab my hand then kept holding it maybe for few minutes.

She was smiling and looking me right in the eyes, like she wanted to give all her attention to me. I never expected that. So, then I told her I’ve been a fan for 19 years since I was living in Indonesia and this is the first time I saw her in person. She was quite shocked, but she kept looking right into my eyes, then said, “hope this is okay with you.”

She still had her eyes on me while holding my hand so tight, seemed like she waited for me to say something. My 15 years old heart wanted to scream hysterically in front of her face, but my 30 year old brain told me to stay calm. At the end, the only words that I manage to say was “You’re so pretty.”

I knew it doesn’t sound smart at all and I wish I said something more meaningful. And guess what, she still looked at me right in the eyes. Maybe, I am crazy but it seemed like she could read inside my soul. That was too hard for me to handle so I turned away To this day, I kept thinking about that look. It’s still a mystery to me, but let me try to explain: In her eyes, there were kindness, child alike, innocent, mysterious, sweet, and curiosity or was it? Is that possible that some things that I felt like I saw on her was the reflection on my own feelings towards her? Like I actually witness my childhood past? There is something special with that woman. It turns out I wasn’t the only one who feel that, so I wasn’t crazy then.

At that time the whole meeting was still like a dream to me. I started to realize that it really did happen when I went back to my sit at the concert. Then that was when I started to become emotional and I felt like I really need to cry this time, in happiness, but Katona Twins were on a stage right now, and even though I enjoyed them alot, again I didn’t want people to think that I cried for them.

The third concert in Dortmund however was mixed emotions to me. I was sad because this was the last one but happy at the same time to see them on a stage. After the concert, I went back to my hotel very tired and only got few hours to sleep before leaving for USA. I kept thinking about my meeting with Roxette and couldn’t wait to share my experience with everyone.

Of course, nothing ever went easy for me. I actually overslept and missed my plane, and I wasn’t leave until two days later, but that’s another story.

For more of the pictures I took with Roxette, click here

This is Michael Gambon Movie

// October 23rd, 2009 // 2 Comments » // movie talk // movie talk

Warner Bros

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE

EVER since Prizoner of Azkaban, this series kept taking the darker side. It evolved from “family friendly” into more mature theme gradually.
It makes sense because the main villain Lord Voldemort is also getting stronger and stronger and won’t stop until he rules the word (wizards or muggles).

In this movie, we don’t get a chance to see You Know Who. Still it doesn’t effect the excitement seeing it’s translate J.K Rowling imagination to big screen. However, the audience be able to see the dark lord when he was still called “Tom Riddle”. Therefore, the audience has a little knowledge on his childhood and teenage years.
If you read the series then you know that more and more death happen as it progress. Again, this is to proof her point that Voldemort is really a threat to the world. There are possibility that evil might wins against good and Dumbledore (often said the only wizard frightened by Voldemort).

We knew him so protective of Harry Potter, but now he knows he has to ask him to help him even when the task is so dangerous.
One of them, when he has to accompany his head master to a secluded island looking for something that can beat The Dark Lord.

This is probably one of my favorite scene in a movie. The is a very impressive scene with special effect that I’ve never seen before. Definitely worth watching. Of course at that time, I forgot that it was only the movie and in fact praise Dumbledore for doing such an amazing magic.

At the same time, the scene also very moving. It involves a very week Dumbledore in a condition like we’ve never seen before.

Even though the movie called Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Actually it is Dumbledorelah stealing the scene. So many memorable part involves him.

Michael Gambon so convincing as Dumbledore. He always did but this time he does it even better. I’d say that Academy should at least nominate him.

Another scene stealer is Tom Felton as Draco Malfoy. It’s hard to believe that he was the spoil brat that we first know at the first Harry Potter. In this one, he is given a hard task by Voldemort. Of course Tom Felton use this chance to finally showing off more of his talent.

Then of course there is Severus Snape. Is he good or bad? As always, Alan Rickman can still be brilliant without saying too much.

The weakness of the movie, in my opinion, is the love triangle story between Ron-Lavender-Hermione. I think it took too many times. Why don’t they focus more on Half Blood Prince storyline. Hello, isn’t that the title of this movie?